24. 32 weeks! Looking forward to major surgery!

Every time I start a post I think "this will be a nice short one", but then I think about all of the conversations we have, questions we ask and all of things going on in day to day life, and they end up jumping around from one subject to another as my head empties itself onto the page.

32 weeks!!!!

I have made it to my little goal of 32 weeks!! At the start of the pregnancy, we were told about how high risk a triplet pregnancy is, and I read early on that they are often born at 20something weeks. We had been warned not to Google anything, but James saw that 32 weeks was a very good and pretty standard time for them to be brought out. Off the back of this, I have had it in my head that they will be here at 32 weeks and there's very little chance we will go further. So I'm chuffed to bits about this, and today I got congratulated a lot again, and plans for the cesarean were made.

Movements, which is which?

I have been struggling to figure out who is moving in my belly a lot of the time, because A has shifted into the middle of my tummy and I often confuse him for B. B's and C's legs are all together so I struggle to separate them at the moment too. I need body and arm movements to be sure.

The one I do know is when he has hiccups. Triplet A gets hiccups every now and then but the others don't seem to. I think he is the least active of the 3 but I can't be sure.

The scan

2 weeks ago our little wrigglers were estimated at 3lb9, 3lb12 and 3lb13. Two weeks before that they were nearly a whole lb lighter, so we were half expected another huge jump.

However, it was not as big of a change this time. 4lb3, 4lb1 and 4lb5.

Each time we go, the babies are getting bigger and more squished so taking the measurements is getting more difficult. The last 2 scans they have had to miss one thing due to the babies positions. This time, there were a few estimates due to limbs and heads being in the way all over the place! Baby B is so low that head measurements have been tricky. And baby C is so high up, that my ribs are in the way!

At this stage the babies growth may slow down a little anyway, but also the estimates from last time may have been over, and this time possibly under. None of it is 100% accurate, obviously but you hang on their every word. We certainly did with Jack. He came out nearly 1lb lighter than they had estimated.

The clinician we saw today told us that multiples often grow a little smaller than a single baby, but these are a good size for a singleton baby, let alone 3!

Today we saw 2 songoraphers (one of which is a friend of ours which was a lovely surprise), the breastfeeding lady, our midwife, a clinician and the diabetes clinic lady. Everybody commented on how well we are doing, and that their team are all amazed and so pleased with progress. I actually asked the diabetes lady if it's what everybody says at this stage and she said 'no, you really are!" I even had a few of them say how surprised they are at how well I'm looking too. A few friends came around with their babies for a play date yesterday and they all said it too. I feel like death and feel like there is no hiding it. Not that I try! I should probably try and fix my face when people tell me I look well and maybe try and smile in a more believable way.

To try and put it into perspective, Jack had a horrible cough and cold last week, which we all inevitably got. James felt horrible for a day or two but it barely effected me because I actually didn't feel much worse than I usually do. I already ache, have headaches and am continually congested, so really, it was just some more snot and a bit of coughing. Which I'm also doing due to my lungs being squished. Haha.

During our doctors appointment we did the usual talking through scans, checking BP and urine etc. But we also talked through and did my consent form for the big day, surgery time!!

Eviction day is on a Tuesday and steroid injections are supposed to be for the 2 days before delivery. Sunday's can be tricky apparently, so he has booked me in for the Thursday and Friday the week before, and pre op on the Monday.

Steroid injections.

I had seen a question put forward about steroid injections on one of the Facebook pages a couple of months ago, and I had asked if I would be getting them and I wanted to know a bit more about them. Mainly because some of the parents had opted out of them and I want to know why, and the pros and cons for them. Of course, it's a minefield out there with all the theories and studies. From what I understand through the doctors and the NHS website is this. Preterm babies (babies born before 37 weeks) are still not fully developed. The injections are given to the mother a couple of days before delivery to help support the baby to breathe, protect the brain from bleeds and other complications with movement and their organ development. There was, and possibly is still talk about links between these drugs and learning or behavioral difficulties in later life. However, these drugs have been being used for 20/30 years and its pretty obvious that not all preterm babies have difficulties. And if they do, it could be due to any number of reasons. I don't want to read too much into it as these rabbit holes get scary don't they! It's what is advised, and has been advised for the babies immediate health for many years now, so it's probably the route we will take.

We will have our final scan in 2 weeks, which is nice to know. One last time to see them before we meet them all! I wonder if we get that far.

My brother in law asked me at the weekend what would happen if I went into labour now. Would they try to delay them or just whip them out? I asked the doctor this and he said "to be honest, the drugs to delay don't do much. I would be closely monitored and it would depend on what was happening. Waters breaking or not, dilating, contractions etc.

NICU

I'm also being asked by many people about how long the babies and myself will be staying in hospital. The answer is, who knows? It depends on so many things. A friend of mine gave birth at 32 weeks a few weeks ago. She was born at a very healthy 5lb. They went home at 35 weeks and she was 6lb, feeding well, gaining weight and all other things looked well.

If mine are born in 3 weeks at 5lb or more, they might be ready to breast feed quite quickly and be happy and healthy. However, they might not be much more than they are now, may struggle to breathe unaided. May need tube feeding. And may have a whole list of complications that can't be seen until they are out. Triplets are often sent home staggered. If they need help I assume I will be sent home until they are ready to start breast feeding. This is when I get worried about being sent to another hospital far away, but there's no way of knowing any of this and it will be what it will be.

Basically, I have no idea about much!

My Weight gain

From the way I look, I don't think I've gained weight anywhere except my tummy, which is solid as a rock all the way around. I know I've lost muscle, but everything else looks the same. So I've been curious to weigh myself to see how much I'm actually carrying now. I asked to be weighed and I now weigh 3.5 stone more than I did at my 12 week appointment, all that time ago.

I have been finding it painful with the weight on my skin when I roll over in bed at night. I feel like I need to lift my belly with my hands as I roll because the pull is so strong after being asleep for a few hours on one side. Finding out that there's 3.5 stone of weight to shift over makes sense now! James said Jack is probably not 3 stone yet, even the heavy little man that he is! I used to carry him loads, on my hip or in his "Jackpack" on my back. I could manage a couple of hours walking with the Jackpack but I had lost strength after the miscarriage and he loves to walk himself. By the end of the walk I would have wobbly legs. Now, I have wobbly legs from walking a few hundred yards or up the stairs. I really can't wait to be back on my feet properly again and start to gradually build up some strength again with weights that I can put down and remove from my body! Little wriggly weights!

Looking forward to surgery recovery!

I keep saying it, and will keep saying it. I am genuinely looking forward to the recovery from my cesarean now. Recovering from having someone cut through 6 layers of my abdominal flesh is going to feel like a breeze in comparison to this now. Don't get me wrong. I'm doing OK, I'm sleeping reasonably and I'm still fine to be up and about, driving, cooking etc. I'm often in tears from the pain and frustration after half an hour to an hour of standing or sitting upright, but I am far from needing assistance with a wheelchair or anything like that and can't see myself getting to that stage at all.

After I have been cut open and stitched up, I will have a large wound to be careful of, but I will be able to stand for long periods of time and sit upright again. I will be able to breathe freely. I will be able to move my torso, bend, lean, reach etc. And best of all, I will be able to have Jack on my knee again, and in a few weeks, pick him up for proper cuddles!!!! Not to mention the fact that I will have 3 more babies to cuddle as much as I want! I'm welling up just thinking about it!

The fact that I have experienced cesarean surgery and recovery once before, I have an idea of what to expect and what I will be able to do and not do, and when. I'm assuming we will be kept in hospital for a couple of days at least, so for the worst bit of the healing, I will be in hospital and I will have help from nurses with things like getting up on my feet, getting dressed etc, instead of relying on James to do it for me. Last time we were discharged 24 hours after and I was terrified of the pain. This time, we know how to manage the painkillers. The trick is to stagger them and never leave a gap in the first few days and weeks. Once we were in that rhythm, it was fine. Standing up straight was the best position but I kept hunching over in a protective way which didn't help at all. Also, I could comfortably lie on my back, pain free again, which helped to keep the scar flat and open to heal.

Muscle memory is apparently a thing too. My body will hopefully remember and be able to heal a little bit more quickly this time. 6 weeks is the estimate to be up and about and doing everything normally again. I started excercise and carrying Jack in a front carrying thing at around 12 weeks comfortably last time, but I was in no hurry with the horrible weather anyway!

Dramatic pregnant lady alert!!

I was speaking to my friend yesterday about how people who don't know im carrying 3 must think I'm so dramatic! We went to the dentist and popped into the supermarket the other morning. When james was at the till I found a bench and leaned my head back against the wall for a little rest. I did think people will assume I'm being dramatic for needing a rest. Either that or I'm going into labour. Haha. But I don't care at all. My body is creating 3 little lives, and it's draining.

Diabetes

My blood readings have been pretty good, but there have been a few regular ones JUST above the guide they have given me. Due to this, they have advised I take a very low dose of a diabetes medication. This is to prevent the babies and the placentas getting too big now. It's called Metformin and it helps to lower my blood glucose to a more normal level. She has given me the lowest dose and I will recieve a phone call in a week to go through this weeks results. If I get any side effects and can't cope, I can call at the end of the week to talk about other options.

Other Twin and Triplet birth weights

I have read a couple of posts recently about new twin and triplet parents sharing pictures and information about their new arrivals. I hadn't taken much notice of weights before, I was more interested in the weeks, especially as I was passing their arrival weeks. It felt like little goals and wins as I went along which is silly. But I was terrified of giving birth at 23, 25, even 28 weeks. It just seems too soon for such a tiny little thing to be brought into the world. Now though, it's all about the weights. I'm stunned that my body is carrying such a huge weight now, and hasn't wanted to evict them.

I have read 2 recently where one baby is 6lb or over, and the other one or two are around 2lb5! The difference in weight blows my mind. I've also seen videos from NICU wards of babies in incubators and they are so different in size, you would assume they weren't related. I can't believe how close in weight these three have been throughout.

Eating more?

Im not actually the feeding machine I had expected to be. Not because I don't have space in my belly, just because I'm not bothered. I'm eating a bit more in the mornings and at night but nothing extreme I dont think. I will have something to eat when I'm up, but need a second breakfast an hour later. And at night, a couple of hours after our evening meal, where I don't hold back, I find I need something before bed. I usually have a bowl of bran flakes or some ryvitas with cheese.

Jack, my little carer.

Jack is being incredibly effectionate at the moment. He is always curling up on the sofa with me, coming and giving me cuddles and kisses, and asking me if I want drinks and snacks. He even called me "beautiful mummy" the other night and calls my "big fat belly" beautiful too.

He is getting more and more fascinated with my belly and wants to show everybody who says anything about triplets, babies or bellies. He has felt the babies wriggling a few times now. The other day I put his hand on a big hard bit of moving body part and told him it was the babies bottom, and that the baby was doing the wiggle bum bum dance for him. He found this hilarious and asked for him to do it again!

So many times a day I get shouted at by him when I stand up. He says "no mummy, you stay there. You lie down . You sit down. Etc." He is so cute and caring. I can see him embracing his big brother duties with both hands and helping us to get things for us, wet wipes when we need them, (he already takes his own to the sink to wet for us when he needs changing), put things in the bin, put things in the laundry etc. He is very good at helping me to tidy up now and sometimes even does it himself!

He has even started to help me by pushing my bum when I'm getting off the sofa, and pulling me up.

I walked him to nursery this morning as they were having a French themed breakfast and parents were invited, so I knew I could have a sit down before walking home. He wanted to run a bit and was saying "faster mummy". I told him I can't run right now but I will be able to in 3 months, no wait, 2 months!!!! I could've jumped for joy when I realised how close I am to moving normally again!! Lots of "The end is in sight" moments are happening and its wonderful!

Bladder beatings

It's no news that pregnant women pee more. It's obvious that there isn't much space for a bladder or it's contents. The bladder punch is something I've had many times throughout this pregnancy, and Jack's. The feeling of a body part sitting directly on top of the bladder while walking. Today I was walking from the car to Jack's nursery to pick him up and there was definitely a head or a limb right on top and every step was like a little punch to my practically empty bladder, resulting in a sudden, and very desperate urge to pee on every step.