39. A day in the life and other craziness.

Pain memory

It's funny how you forget the sensation of pain. People often ask me how I'm healing and feeling. They often pull a face as they ask, indicating that I'm probably not feeling well, that my scar is likely to be really painful, and that I can tell them the truth. I keep telling people that the discomfort from the surgery is a walk in the park in comparison to the pain I was in at the end of the pregnancy. I was speaking to someone the other day about how bad my legs were in the last few days, and I found myself trying to remember the feeling of the pain in my legs, particularly during the scan. I remember the pain being excruciating and rithing around while she was examining my legs, but trying to remember the actual feeling is not so easy. My rib pain, I remember much more clearly. I think its because I had it with both pregnancies and it felt like bad bruising and pressure, so a recognisable pain. It just got me thinking about pain memory as it's nothing I had thought about before. 

Day in the life of 1 month old triplets

I'll just put a brief rundown of how our average day is currently looking. I usually to get up between 7 and 8am as James is doing a baby feed. I tend to get downstairs and either help out by grabbing a baby to feed, burp or change, or I sort Jack out. Depending on what day it is, Jack may need dressing and taking to nursery, or given breakfast and entertaining. He is usually pretty chilled out in the mornings and happy to entertain himself most of the time. After a long day at nursery on a Wednesday, he can be very cranky on a Thursday morning, so needs much more attention. Not always. 

Once the babies are back in bed, it's morning routine for all of us. Showers, breakfast, sort out things like putting dry laundry away and putting on the next load, sort the kitchen and put on the dishwasher, take out nappies, feed the cat and obviously, look after and play with Jack. Before we know it, the next feed has come around. Jack still has a nap, and he will want it any time from about 10.30 onwards. All being well, he is fine during the mid morning feed, but if he is exhausted, he can get challenging during this feed. Sometimes he goes to Lynda's, or we have someone here to entertain him or help with the feed so we can entertain him or put him to bed. This hour can be a bit of a juggle if Jack is tired and cranky and if all babies wake at the same time. It's fine and manageable, but it can involve feeding a baby whist following Jack around and trying to play with him while holding a baby and a bottle.

We have a twin feeding pillow which is absolutely brilliant, as we can put 2 babies in it, prop up bottles for them, and hold the third baby and rotate them for burps and nappy changes. However, if Jack is in the room, we don't feel safe having all of the babies with us if we are on our own. If Jack were to run over, climb or even throw something, we simply don't have the hands we would need to either stop him falling on them or to protect them, or him. He is very aware of his body and balance for a 2yr old, but he doesn't understand how big and heavy he is. It's easier for our stress levels if we simply leave 2 babies in their cot when we are alone with Jack. But when all 3 demand feeding at the same time, it gets tricky. 

Once the feed is done and Jack is in bed, James often goes for a nap. I'm usually not too tired by this point, but often lie down in the babies room or on the sofa with their monitor next to me. 

The next feed tends to be after lunch around 1 o'clock. Sometimes James and Jack are up, and sometimes I'm in bed and James will do the feed and get Jack up. 

Jack now climbs out of his cot and comes downstairs by himself, which makes things easier thank having to go and get him. However, he was very happy to just chill out in bed for a while when he woke up. Now he wakes and gets straight up. 

After the lunch time feed we often have a visitor, or have something planned. If Jack is awake, (which isn't often as he tends to go for his nap around midday at the moment), we try to have a bit of a plan for him. A visitor, a play date, or one of us takes him out somewhere. All he wants to do at the moment is play in the garden, so one of us goes outside with him. I'm enjoying going for a walk with the pram, but need someone with me to help push or someone to look after Jack. Both preferably! 

Regarding lunch, we fend for ourselves with both breakfast and lunch. Jack tends to graze through the afternoon too. It's usually something from last night heated up, omelette, sandwiches or another simple and easy meal. It's usually the case with every meal, that a baby wakes up just as we sit down to eat.

The next feed is currently mid afternoon. Once this one is done, its time to start thinking about our food. We try to all eat togethet with Jack at about 6 then get him upstiars for bedtime routine at 7. This can last a long time with playing with him, chatting about his day and books. We try and bath him before dinner at least twice a week. Quite often, as we are getting ready for dinner, one or more of the triplets wakes up hungry. Its like an unspoken baby rule. As soon as food is around, especially if it involves sitting around a table, its time to wake up. Jack usually wants James to do his bedtime routine with him, so I speed eat and get started with a baby feed while James and Jack go upstairs for stories and bed. 

Once Jack is settled, James goes to bed, hopefully for 8, and I get started on the early night shift. It has been pretty busy with cluster feeds, but this seems to have tailed off the last couple of nights. During these early hours I often get a few jobs done if there are any to do. Hanging up laundry, tidying up after dinner, replying to the days messages I haven't got around to yet, filling in forms and the diary, writing my blog and any other bits I want to get done between feeds.

The last two nights have been much calmer and the babies have had bigger feeds and longer gaps between feeds of 3 - 3.5 hours. Last week they were feeding every 2 hours up until midnight, and they all woke at the same time. Resulting in 3 crying babies while I made up their bottles. Then balancing bottles on rolled up blankets and going to each one in turn to burp them. 

At 2am, James comes downstairs and I go up for my "long" sleep. He often gets down just after I've finished a feed, so he can hopefully relax for a bit until the next one, and doze a bit before Jack gets up and the morning feed starts. Then I wake up and join them all to do it all over again!

You would think that working on a 3 hour repetitive day will drag and become tiresome, but it really doesn't. The days are flying by! I am currently sitting in the lounge having put the babies to bed. Annabel came over and we started the feed just before 9pm, it's now 10.45. This feed took a while because the babies were sleepy and they are struggling a bit with trapped wind, so I took my time to burp them all over and over again. Robin still isn't particularly comfortable so I keep going in to burp him and try his dummy. So basically, these first 3 hours have gone by in a flash already. Just over 3 to go and I will have another feed.

Update: Robin has been sick so I've brought him into the lounge with me, and he has now thrown up down my chest. It's impossible to wear anything now without little white puke or dribble marks all over. I have matching wet patches on my knee and chest right now. 

Is it difficult?

Honestly? Right now, no. It's just a case of doing things three times over. Feed a baby, burp a baby, change a nappy, bed. Feed another baby, burp another baby, change another nappy, bed. Feed the third baby, burp the third baby, change a third nappy and bed. I often feed and burp them all, then do the nappies all one after the other, like a little production line. 

People say I must be really organised, but it's the same as sorting out one baby, bit 3 times over. When we go out I prepare everything we need for bottles, 3 bottles plus extra just incase. I had never needed to bring bottles witch Jack as he was on boob, so this prep is new to me. But it's fine. I have little tubs that I put the required amount of formula into for each feed. I put the water into the bottles and it all goes into a large tub and into the nappy bag. There's also the usual baby gubbins, but times 3. 3 sets of spare clothes, 6 or more nappies, 3 muslins, 3 dummies, and it goes on. When I'm prepping bottles, I pour 3 lots of water, do 3 lots of measuring out, 3 times shaking bottles etc. Nothing tricky or complicated, just 3 times everything. 

I know things will get more complicated, but we will find our way to do things, three times over!

Bottle prep 

We have a boiling water tap, so when we wash our bottles after each feed, we make sure there is some boiled water in a bottle cooling for the next feed. We then just need to pour the water into the bottles, add the powder and give it a shake. People keep asking if we have a prep machine, but it would probably take longer for it to do 3 than it does like this. 

This weeks developments

The boys are changing so fast now. I'm sure you'll get bored of me saying that. They are so alert now. They follow moving shapes. My hand in front of their face, us moving around if we are close enough. They are gazing at our faces and even moving there heads to see where our voices are coming from. They can all lift their heads a lot more now and move them around with confidence too. Lynda had Sam sitting on her knee facing outwards a couple of days ago. When she spoke, he turned and lifted his head up to look at her. A bit earlier that day Emma had been holding him and cooing to him. He was looking right up at her and it really looked like he was trying to babble to her. His eye contact and the shape of his mouth and the concentration was amazing! And last night, I was talking to Robin and kept sticking my tongue out to him and he copied me twice! It's brilliant! 

Another thing they have started doing in the last day or two, is startling. Jack did it from day one. Startling is when they are completely relaxed, then something makes them jump. It might be a noise or it could be a dream they are having. Their arms and legs fly up and their whole body jumps. It's actually very funny to see it happen. One of the funniest things I have ever seen was on the morning after Jack was born. James had just arrived at the hospital. He hadn't been allowed to stay because of covid. He looked in the cot where Jack was sleeping and looked concerned. Jack was so still, James asked "is he breathing?". He then reached out and touched Jack's belly. Jack startled, which made James startle and he threw his hands in the air in the exact same way Jack had. I burst out laughing, which instantly turned to tears because of my cesarean wound. I still giggle uncontrollably when I think of this memory. 

Anyway, the babies have just started this and yes, it's hilarious. They are all right grunters. For tiny humans, they don't half make a racket, especially when they are all at it! They also make all the cute little squeaky noises new babies make. Oh, and they fart like old men! It's like a chorus of farts, squeaks and grunts coming from the bedroom. 

The other day one of them squeaked quietly and startled his brother which made me giggle. Not long after, he farted and startled himself! Never a dull moment in the Basnett house!

Development of prem babies

I have a friend who is dueivery soon, a week after our estimated due date. It's been great to have someone else the same amount of pregnant as me. There's 3 of us from the gym all expecting within a week of each other and we have had a lovely little support group going. Hannah comes over a lot and has visited us at hospital and at home a few times now. She was here yesterday and we talked about baby development as it has been something I've been meaning to read about. 

So that's what I did. 

I have a book about care from premature babies, but because they were so late arriving, and didn't need NICU care, I hadn't thought about any developmental questions I might have had. Their changes this week is what has got me thinking. They are a month old, but still technically minus one week old, (one week to their estimated due date). What does this mean for their development? For example, when other babies are 12 weeks old and doing the things 3 month old babies should be doing. Smiling, babbling, holding things etc, will ours still be 7 weeks old and unable to do any of these things? Or will they start things a little earlier due to their surroundings and our encouragement? According to this book, in the first 12 months, all milestones from health care providers will use their birth age and their "corrected age", which right now is minus 1 week. They will probably not hit the milestones until 5 weeks after they are expected to, which means, Hannahs, Kates, and my babies, should all be doing things at similar times. A good friend had her son 4 weeks before I had Jack, he was 3 weeks early, and Jack was 1 week early, so all of the milestones and "leaps" George hit, Jack hit a week or two later. We both used an app called "Wonder Weeks" which charts where they should be and when to expect things like sleep regressions, fussy periods and developmental changes. It's going to be really interesting how these three develop next to each other, and next to full term babies. 

Bath times

We have had 3 bath times with the babies now, and what an event they have been! 

Jack's first baths were not fun at all. He hated it and screamed the place down. We attempted a bath in the kitchen sink, and one in the bath with a baby seat, but neither worked. During the bath in the actual bath, James gave up with the baby seat, put his shorts on and got in with him. It was so much easier for him to hold and wash him this way, so this is what we did from then on. We all enjoyed it. We could play properly with Jack in the bath and wash ourselves at the same time. Win win! We are doing the same now, just with a bit more coordination. 

This is how we have done it with the triplets.

Due to Jack's hatred of the bath, we were bracing ourselves for a trio of screams. The plan was to hand a baby to James in the bath to wash, and have someone ready and waiting with a towel, nappy and bottle to dry, feed and cuddle them if they are unsettled from the bath. Emma and Annabel were here as our tag team. Lynda, her mum and her sister also happened to pop over at the same time, with James's cousin. 

I stripped baby 1 and took him to James who lowered him into the water. Anybody who had any experience of new born babies, knows that they seem to hate being exposed to air. As soon as you start to undress them, they cry. 

I handed James the crying baby, and as he lowered him into the water, his legs flopped, his arms flopped and he instantly relaxed! It was beautiful to see him so instantly calm! When he had been washed, I held out a nice warm towel, bundled him up and handed him over to Emma who was waiting with the nappy and bottle. I then stripped baby 2, who reacted to the bath in the exact same way, then again with 3, the same reaction. They all absolutely loved it! The only issue was Lynda's sister, Rachel, getting peed all over when I handed him over. She has 3 boys, so has plenty of experience in this department. 

Bath times have been great fun each time, and Emma, Annabel, and sometimes Graham have been here for the fun. Emma had a fountain of pee over her just after saying she had never been peed on because of having girls. 

Baby brain

It's SO bad! I'm a list keeper, I have a bad memory and my brain is usually a full step or two behind me at the best of times, but baby brain is killing me! Maths isn't something I would say I am good at, but basic mental arithmetic is something I can do, and I am usually pretty good at. I can even say that I quite enjoy simple day to day challenges. Figuring out costs or weights of things. I enjoy trying to be the first to figure it out, and I often am the first. However, the other day, one of the babies had left about 40ml of his 120ml bottle, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out how much he had had. I couldn't believe my brain was failing me this much now. What a mush!!

Post partum weight

At 12 weeks I was weighed and was 10 stone exactly. Same as with Jack. I hadn't eaten much up to then in the pregnancy due to nausea, but I was very bloated, so I don't know what my true pre pregnancy weight was. 

2 weeks before I gave birth and before the swelling in my legs began (although it was the same the night we were in urgent care interestingly), I weighed 13.5 stone. Last week, I weighed myself again (at the end of the day after a large meal and with all my clothes on), and I was 10.5 stone. I obviously hadn't put much, if any weight on during the pregnancy, meaning all the weight I was carrying was in my belly. Its no wonder I was so uncomfortable.

Back to me

I've been doing pretty well. A few little niggles here and there. The sweating has stopped thank goodness. It was a good week ago that finally stopped. In its place, which may have been there beforehand but I hadn't noticed, is itchy ankles. When I get up and walk around after a sleep, my ankles are unbelievably itchy for a few minutes. It must be the blood moving around my feet, but wow! It only lasts 2 or 3 minutes, and I'm often busy enough to not really pay attention to it. 

My scar has bothered me a little this week. Its scabbed in a few places, just tiny scabs, but I noticed that a couple of places weren't knitting together as well as the rest, and weren't properly drying out. One little section was getting a bit sore because of it. I realised it was getting aggravated when I sit and stand, and that my knickers were probably causing the irritation. I decided to put a plaster on this section for a day to try and prevent my underwear causing more pain that day, and it seemed to cure it. I think where the scab was and my underwear moves when I sit and stand, it was rubbing the scab off, therefore not allowing it time to heal over. These few hours of protection seemed to do the trick and it's all looking much better now and the whole thing looks like a healed scar finally. It's very lumpy underneath, so soon I will start to massage the scar tissue and hopefully reduce the lumps and bumps a bit. I got Jack's scar down to nothing very quickly. 

We went for a walk around the village yesterday morning. I pushed the pram with Lynda, and James had Jack. I was exhausted when we got home and I gradually deteriorated through the day. By evening my head was really pounding and I was getting awful pains in my neck and starting to ache all over. My boobs were also a bit sore as I hadn't pumped in 2 days. They are not engorged at all, but they are still very tender. 

I was a little concerned that these aches and pains were the start of something. I'm very aware of potential mastitis or an infection from my scar or somewhere inside my tummy. I was also aware of the fact that I had walked over a mile with the pram that morning. When Jack was about 12 days old, I walked a short distance to a coffee morning, then stood outside chatting to friends for a long time. That night I was feverish and felt awful! After a sleep, I was fine again and I put it down to doing too much too soon. And I'm doing the same today. I've not been great all day, but I'm considerably better than I was last night. My headache has been draining all day, but the aches are minimal thankfully. I've been pretty weak, but I think another good kip will fix me up. 

Basnett boys at nursery

As long as we can figure out how to get the govournments free childcare hours, we will be sending the triplets to the same day care nursery Jack goes to. Jack will still be there. Our nephew Albert is starting there this year, so this means there will be 5 blonde haired, blue eyed, Basnett boys at the same nursery at the same time. They will account for a quarter of their children!