40. Will I wake up?

I am regularly thinking, this must be a dream. This doesn't happen to people, not really. People have 1 baby at a time, 2 is unbelievable, but 3 is not something that should be physically be posssible. How? No really, how?? My little, simple, ordinary body, has created and grown three healthy, perfectly formed little humans. Not 1, like the majority of the female population try to do, but 3. All at the same time! And they are all here now, in all their perfection. 

I often find myself looking at one of them while giving him a cuddle, and getting totally overwhelmed with emotion. They just blow my mind, they really do. These tiny, little, totally helpless, crinkly, noisy, and a lot of the time smelly, but utterly perfect and spectacularly beautiful little people make every piece of me melt into a puddle of utter overjoyed emotion. 

I sometimes wake up and briefly think to myself "time to get up and do another 3 hour rotation day" and have a brief moment of "oh god, here we go again". But then, as I wake up, I realise I miss them. I've not had them with me for the few hours that I've been asleep, and I really, really miss them. I get a bottle and go and pick up whoever is crying and I just want to cuddle him forever and never let him go. 

I'll stop gushing now, because frankly, it's gross. 

But honestly, they are SO cute and cuddles from them is the best feeling in the world. Their cuddles are getting better and better too. As they get a bit bigger and stronger, they snuggle in more and more. When they are on my shoulder, their arms almost squeeze my shoulder and neck in a proper cuddle. 

Often we will be having a lovely moment. My baby boy will be being acceptionally cute all relaxed and gazing up at me like I am the most amazing thing in the world, and then they let out an enormous fart. They really know how to make me laugh at the perfect moment! 

And speaking of perfect cuddles, Jack has been pretty cuddly with me again a few times this week. I'm still pretty sore and panicky when he starts climbing on me, but I'm loving that he can cuddle me properly again, proper snuggles, sitting on my knee and me wrapping him up. 

He has been getting more and more attached to the babies too. He gives them lots of cuddles, and tries to stop them crying by giving them a dummy, shushing them and patting them or stroking their heads. He also whispers to them "shhhhhh, it's OK baby, it's ok". It's SO adorable watching him trying to "make him happy". 

We talk to him about when they get bigger and they can play together like he can play with bigger babies he knows. He obviously doesn't really understand, but we can see him thinking about playing with these other kids. It's going to be so lovely watching them grow closer and closer over the weeks, months and years. 

Twinning?

Robin was born with the most impressive double chin, the other two had pretty chiseled little faces, but they too are now sporting very impressive second chins. Rob is still very odd looking at some angles. He has a very droopy face in comparison to the other two, and proper jowls. He is changing so fast though, and starting to look so much like his brothers. We wonder if he might be the twin of one of Sam or Will. Certain features are exactly the same, and we often need to do a double take when we look at him and them. The most obvious difference was his head, it was long and quite flat, where the other two had perfectly round little tennis ball sized heads. Will and Sam have always looked incredibly similar, and are difficult to identify sometimes. Especially in the middle of the night and when they are crying. James and I had a moment last week where we both disagreed about who was who. They have both filled out in their faces and both were pulling unsettled faces and all squished up. James was right, but I decided a nail with a bit of varnish on was necessary now. So William has a tiny little dot of blue on his little fingernail. 

Days slipping by.

Days really are just disappearing at the moment. Unless we have a set plan for us and the babies, the day us gone before we know it. Twice this week, I haven't even got fully dressed. The mornings seem to vanish! We always seem to have jobs to do in the mornings. This morning Lynda took Jack to her house for a couple of hours, James went to bed and I made soup and sorted the kitchen and laundry. When Jack went for his nap, I did the same. I still had my PJ pants on and figured I might as well not bother changing before changing back again for my nap. They are also by far my most comfortable trousers at the moment. After my nap, I was straight back into feeding babies, then playing with Jack, tea and bed. The day just went again, so fast! I did have an extra long nap today because of having a shorter sleep last night. 

Getting simple jobs done also seem to take FOREVER! I sorted through some bags of clothes the other day, and this subsequently turned into sorting through the babies clothes drawers. This should've taken a couple of hours. I started it on Wednesday morning, it's now Saturday night and I've still not finished. There's only a sleeping bag, a coat and some vests to put away, but still! Mainly because when Jack is sleeping, and we have time one of us is sleeping in the bedroom where I am putting all the clothes away. So justified time taking. 

First size nappies which were up to their armpits to start with.