42. Never clean again and a hospital trip.

I resigned myself, quite some time ago now, that I will never have a clean outfit on, ever again. They didn't stay clean long with a toddler, but now it's impossible. I was burping a baby a couple of days ago, wearing a (nearly) clean top, and I had carefully placed a muslin to avoid the inevitable. But he managed to aim the vom right down my collar. I changed my jumper and put on a new, clean hoodie. I then picked up a baby, possibly even the same one, and within minutes, I had milky dribble down my back and on my shoulder. Screw it, this one is staying on. James and I have matching smears on our shoulders, and patches on our legs from dribble during back patting burps on our knees. 

If the babies puke, spit-up and dribble isn't enough, I am a fairly good contributor. Another clean t-shirt this morning was soiled by non other than myself. But, in my defence, I was eating a bowl of cereal, a messy one at the best of times. I was also eating this bowl of cereal with my left hand. AND, I was holding a baby! It was bound to happen. 

Eyelashes

The babies have been slowly growing eyelashes. And they are getting long! Jack has enormous pale blue eyes, with the longest blond lashes I have ever seen. Just like his dad. I seem to remember him having long lashes from early on, so I was surprised about how little these guys have. 

I am still half forgetting how early they were. I'm still desperate for a smile, but they are giving me nothing! I'm ready to get a little back now! They are more engaged by the day, so I am waiting for my moment. I am going to be so excited when I do get my first smile! Oooooh, I can't wait!! 

Dummy juggling

Every now and then, all 3 babies wake at the same time, squawking. They did this in the early hours the other day. When this happens, we usually plug them with dummies to pacify them while we make bottles, burp the others or pick them up for a cuddle. 

They were due a feed and I was on my own so I wanted them calm before bottle prep so they didn't wake James or Jack. This time however, they were spitting them out as fast as I was putting them in. When one baby is spitting the dummy out, I gently tap the front of the dummy and they usually take it in a few seconds. Because all three were setting off screaming, I couldn't plug and tap quickly enough. It was comical, and all I could think of was the scene in Men In Black II where they are in the post office and they open up the letter sorting machine which is hiding an alien with loads of arms, frizbeeing letters into pigeon holes. 

A scary night

Last night, we had a pretty scary few hours. I had changed Robins nappy at about 3oclock at the end of the 2pm feed, and I noticed a grey colour to his right testicle and made a mental note to keep an eye on that and mention it to James. At the 5oclock feed, James changed his nappy and instantly freaked out when he saw the testicle and said it looks painful and not normal. It was just after 5pm, so I called the doctors who told us we could go down straight away. I got a couple of nappies and another bottle ready incase we were a long time. I got there at 5.40 and was seen almost immediately. He had a look and said its not his testicle, it's a swelling above and that he would like to speak to his colleagues at the hospital to ask some advice. He was alarmed by the speed in which it had appeared. James had done all of the nappy changes that day and said he would've noticed such a swelling and discolouring. I'm so glad it had been him, because I'm not sure I would have. 

It's pretty obvious that I know nothing about testicle, so I don't know what things should, or more importantly, shouldn't look like. But I do know that things can go wrong down there quite quickly. I had been told to be aware of something with Jack when he was around the same age. 

The doctor called me back in after just a few minutes and told me to take Rob to Blackburn hospital now. He said he doesn't know enough so wants the doctors on the children's ward to have a look and rule stuff out. He also said he may need a scan which would be quicker to process through the hospital rather than through the GP. I told him I would go via home to pick up food and a few bits. I said goodbye and thank you and got Robin back into the car. As I was climbing in, my phone rang and it was the doctor again. He told me I should get there as quickly as I can as it's now 6.10 and some doctors will be going home and he would like us to be seen tonight. I'm not sure if he had taken my going for food as a sit down meal, but to keep myself calm, that's what I told myself and James. I called James to ask him to get us some stuff together. Pram, food and nappy bag. 

My mum had been over that afternoon and she stayed so James could finish the feed with the other two, while she kept Jack distracted. She made me a sandwich, and James got the pram parts together. 

In a few minutes, we were off. Again. 

When I found the ward we needed in Blackburn, they were expecting us. We were seen by triage pretty much straight away and we were taken to our own room and given a wrist band. This wasn't looking great for getting home that night. 

Rob was seen not too long after we got in by the doctor. He explained that he was looking for a possible hernia. He said it wasn't a twisted testicle but he possibly wanted us to be seen at Manchester hospital. He said that at Manchester, they would be able to refer us for a scan quicker than the doctors at Blackburn. I had assumed we would get an appointment for the following day, so messaged James to tell him that I think we will be heading home. The doctor then came back in to tell me that they are expecting us in A&E at Manchester hospital!!

Oh my god!! This is starting to make me nervous! 

I was feeding Robin and called James to tell him we won't be home soon at all. As we were on the phone, a nurse came in to ask if I knew where I was going and to advise that I don't hang around, that I should get him fed and get gone. It's not worth waiting around with things like this. OK, now I WAS worried! What could it be? NO, don't start thinking about possible bad options. It's going to be fine. He is fine, it doesn't hurt him, he is happy and healthy. He WILL be fine! 

As we were leaving, I was stopped by the nurse who had come in a few minutes ago and she told me they were preparing a letter for me to take so we didn't get lost in the system and have to start from scratch. Yet another little niggle to crank up the nerves. But incredibly grateful that they were making things as seamless and quick as they possibly could. 

Don't stress, don't panic. It's all going to be fine. 

Yet again, we were on the road. Please let this trip result in some answers, and please please please let the answers be ones I want to hear. 

When I got to A&E, I handed my letter over and took a seat, expecting to be there for the long haul. I was called through in about 10 minutes and Robin was immediately examined by 2 doctors, who then called in a third doctor. They asked a few questions again. Has he been feeding well? At Blackburn, he had just finished his biggest ever feed, so yes, feeding fine. Have his nappies been normal, yes. Has he been sick? Nope. Does he seem generally OK. Yes. Has he had a cold or virus? Hmmmm, we actually think they may have all had a bit of a cold a couple of days ago. We had had a really unsettled night and day. There was always one baby snuffling, stuffed up or a bit pukey for a good 12 hours. Nothing unusual as there is often one who is struggling with the mucus on their chests, which results in them being stuffy and pukey. We had never had all 3 struggling with it at the same time though, so we did wonder if they had a bit of a cold or possibly even hayfever. 

Doctor the third was the one who explained it all to me. Or tried to. Now, my brain isn't great at focusing on words, I'm better having stuff written down, especially when it is complicated or stressful. I was really struggling to stop thinking about how strongly he smelt of cheese and onion crisps. Come on brain. Focus!!! This is really important!

He was explaining what they were looking for and what they think it is. He was telling me that the swelling is definitely not in his testicle, but above it and up into his groin a little. One of the most common causes is a small hernia, which they don't think it is, as it would be popping in and out, which this doesn't appear to be doing.

He then tried to explain to me about fluid build up in the groin, which both girls and boys can get as babies. He tried to explain about the tubes being too narrow to drain the fluid adequately. The fluid is often caused by a virus and this is what they think it is. But most importantly, it is absolutely nothing to worry about, and it will likely come and go and should have cleared itself up by the age if about 3. 

Oh my god, thank goodness!!! 

He went into loads of detail with all of this, but my poor little brain was just waiting for words that said "it's nothing to worry about". It was wizzing ahead of the words that were coming at me, willing the next ones to be good news. It was almost like my brain was trying to get a step ahead to influence the result. 

I had heard what I so desperately wanted to hear that I felt like I could breathe again. My baby is OK! We can go home and sleep well! 

The condition is called "Hydrocele of the cord".

I could've skipped out of the hospital! It was 11.15pm and we were going home! Me and my healthy baby are going home!! 

I was so impressed with the efficiency of everybody we saw. We started that evening at home, calling the doctors in Whalley at about 5.15. We then saw our GP, saw doctors at Blackburn, then drove to and from Manchester and we were back home at 12.30. All of this in 6 hours. 8 weeks ago, we sat at our local hospital for nearly 6 hours to have my legs looked at while I was very heavily pregnant. The absolute polar opposite experience.