48. Challenges, 1st holiday, meeting a quad, triplet tragedy and remembring how lucky we are.
We are now over 3 months in to life with triplets, and it's bloody great!! They are incredible, they really are! Sam and Will are about 13lb with Will now slightly heavier than Sam. Robin is well over 14lb!
We have had a few minor challenges, but nothing we haven't conquered with some juggling and just a few choice words.
The most times stressful for me have been when I have had all 3 babies screaming, then Jack decides to join in the fun. A couple of weeks ago, I got up in the morning just before James was leaving for work. Unfortunately, Robin had a choking episode, and his screams woke the other two, who decided they needed feeding IMMEDIATELY!!! 2 screaming, hungry babies, and one struggling to catch his breath properly, so very upset indeed. While I was trying to comfort Rob and get bottles ready for Sam and Will, James said goodbye to us all and went to work. (He had checked 100 times that we will be ok). When the door closed, Jack SCREAMED!!! "I want my daaaaaadddddddddyyyyyy", and went into full blown meltdown. I messaged Emma who was with me in a flash with Annabel. I could've kissed them both! They could hear Jack from their house!
This drama was very quickly fixed with bottles, cuddles and play time distraction, but it would've been a LOT more difficult, stressful and taken a whole lot longer on my own. It taught me that I could really do with having someones help, or at least to be on call, on a Thursday and a Friday morning.
Other challenges have been mainly pram challenges and unsettled babies due to bugs and jabs.
Also, as they have become more and more alert and curious, our bottle balancing trick is becoming less reliable. They just want to look around and be playful during feeds, which is amazing, and so much fun, but bottle re-propping is constant now.
Vestibule pickle
I went to the doctors with the triplets to talk about their choking episodes. I went with the pram as a triple, got through the first door, but couldn't fit through the inside door. We were stuck in the vestibule!! I needed to dismantle the pram and take the babies, and the pram in bits, into the waiting room. I then reassembled the pram as a twin. The receptionist and doctor helped with carrying the third baby which was really kind.
Pram rage
I don't get riled up often or easily, however, this pram is unearthing a new side of me which is bubbling dangerously close to the surface. I'm also not one for confrontation. I need to think things through before saying anything. However, I have had enough instances now, that I have a LOT of things I am ready to say.
Drop kirb dickhead
I was on my way to mum and baby pilates and was crossing the road as an old fella in a Mercedes, pulled up to the kirb I was approaching. He parked on double yellow lines, ACCROSS the drop kirb!!!! I stopped in the middle of the road and watched as he got out, locked the car, looked at me and the pram, then walk away!!! I want to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he didnt realise he had blocked the drop kirb that is a lifeline to me. But in the moment, I was convinced he knew what he had done, and I was fuming! I didn't say anything, because I was angry and shocked, but if I happen to see him there again, I will ask him to either move his car (politely), or ask HIM to try pushing and lifting this pram up the kirb for me.
Clitheroe Road nightmare
We live on a little cul de sac off a busy main through road. The village has a crossroads at the bottom of the hill and it has a school and nursery on the corner. A few hundred yards up the hill, off the main road on the opposite side, is the nursery where Jack attends, and the triplets will be starting next year. The next road up is ours on the same side. On our side of the road there is no footpath, so we need to cross this very busy road to get to the village, we then need to cross back over to get to nursery. This is where my problems lay the other day. I needed to drop some paperwork off at Jack's nursery and I had planned to go for a walk through the village before heading home.
The footpath at the top end near our road is often overgrown with brambles and thorny bushes, so taking the pram on that part is usually impossible.
On this day, instead of tackling brambles, and because I didn't have Jack, I waited for a gap in traffic and ran down the road to the nursery entrance. When I left, I crossed back over to head down to the village, but was met with 2 cars parked on the kirb!! Theres always cars parked on the road side, but today it was inaccessible for even the smallest single pram. I decided against our walk and turned to go back up the hill but was met with the hedges, so overgrown, that a pedestrian would need to step into the road. My only options were to walk or run in the road. Down to the junction seemed like and incredibly dangerous option. But heading back up the road didnt seem much better. The hill is seriously steep, and I had a lot of parked cars to pass before I would be safely out of traffics way. I waited quite a while until I saw a long enough gap in traffic for me to set off running. And that's what I did. I ran, in the road, up a hill, on a busy through road, with my 3 babies in their pram. I will also add that the pram is incredibly heavy, and the babies are getting heavier by the day. Pushing Jack up the hill in a single pram was exhausting enough for me and I could barely breathe by the time we were safe.
To say I was fuming is an understatement. The council are going to be receiving a lot of emails and phone calls from me now. How on earth am I supposed to get my 4 children to and from nursery safely? There is also a boy who lives next door to nursery who uses a wheelchair. What about him? And all the other people with prams, kids, dogs, even just single pedestrians.
Will we be too much hassle?
I've been to quite a few baby groups now, and friendships are beginning to form. There's lots of pram walks and brews in cafes that the mums are talking about, and we are invited. The problem is the pram, and the fact that I have 3. Not one. Everything for me is going to take a lot longer and a lot more planning. I have a bad feeling that someone will suggest a walk that we won't manage, or a cafe we can't get into. I don't want people to make special plans for us, but I do worry that we won't be included in as much stuff because we are a "hassle". It'll be a real shame, and I really hope that people will be understanding and, if they like us and want to get to know us, that they will be happy to adapt plans for us. It's difficult enough figuring out the logistics of places around naps, other classes, baby dates, jobs and kids. Our complications could just push us out a little bit unfortunately. Our saving grace right now is that it is "summer time", and we can (hopefully) meet outside. I use the inverted commas because it's mid June and it's due to hit a whopping 4 degrees tonight! What the.......?
Batch cooking
Our first holiday
We went for a week in a haven caravan near Blackpool, all 6 of us and my godmother, Lindsay. Linds wisely had a caravan to herself. We had a brilliant week! Jack was entertained all day every day. He was thrilled that he could go out of the caravan through one door, then back in through another and that he could run laps. We also let him ride his balance bike through the van which was VERY naughty and exciting for him.
Now then, day 1 was a complete shambles. The babies were so unbelievably unsettled from the moment we got out of the car, William from part way through the drive. I also apparently had my head well and truly up my arse and kept loosing track of time so badly, that they were hungry and I had no idea! I was convinced they had only just fed, simply because our feet hadn't touched the ground all day and I was totally cotton headed. Which totally threw me, because I'm usually so organised and unflappable!
But we all survived. Everybody slept well that night and the reset button was pressed. Will was a little unsettled the following day, but cuddles helped him to get back to normal.
Quad meet
During one of the most shambolic parts of Monday, 2 of the babies started kicking off, just as our food was arriving at the pub in the complex. We decided to grab the food and run home to the caravan. As we were bundling the pram, complete with screaming babies, Jack, 3 plates of food, drinks and ourselves out of this really busy complex and a lovely security guy held a door open for us. He gave me a huge grin and asked if they were triplets. I said yes and he replied "I'm a quad!" My heart was in my mouth, but I still had 2 screaming babies to look after. He told us his mother had died in childbirth and that his father had brought them all up. I desperately wanted to talk to him properly but we had to run.
Lindsay went in search for him on Wednesday evening and found a lovely chap called Dave. He remembered her and said he would happily have a chat with me.
I don't want to say too much, but his story is incredible. So, so tragic that his mother didn't survive their birth. But unfortunately, not surprising. They thought they were having twins and she went full term with them.
I so often think about our birth and the amount of blood I lost in extremely controlled conditions. The quads were born within 9 minutes of each other, via a natural, vaginal birth. The stress of that after the stress her body will have been under during the pregnancy is unimaginable.
Dave cannot speak highly enough of his dad. Him and his 3 sisters had a great life and all are incredibly close. His dad is still around and super fit and healthy.
I can't imagine how difficult it must've been to have multiples 60 years ago. It was in a time when men worked, and the wife stayed at home to care for the kids. I keep thinking about the nappies, all needing washing and drying. The lack of access available to them. There won't be the drop kirbs and wide doors that I endlessly complain about the lack of. Not to mention the Internet, and the ability to talk to other multiples parents whenever I want to if I have a question. This man was, and still is a hero. I take every hat I will ever own, off to him. Also, to all of the family members and friends who stepped up and took on their roles.
I also asked him about the connections they have and its incredible! It's something I am really looking forward to experiencing.
Triple tragedy
At a baby group an old lady came in to meet the triplets. She told me she had triplets. I jumped up to meet her and asked how old they are. She said "they would be in their 60s now, but none survived more than a few hours". I was heartbroken for her. They were born at 6 months. She is 93 and happily went on to have 3 children, but I can't stop thinking about her and how incredibly different our story could be.
I was very realistic during the pregnancy, of the chances of complications and them not surviving. It's all becoming very real now that I am meeting people and hearing their stories, and of course thinking about it all and remembering just how incredibly lucky we all are.
Triplet documentary
I have watched a documentary about triplets called "three identical strangers" on Netflix, they were separated at birth and found each other at 19. Their similarities were spooky. Same taste in music, women, colours, cars, cigarettes, sports, everything!! Their story uncovers a horrific secret which doesn't bare thinking about, but their closeness and bond is incredibly heartwarming and gets me so excited to see these 4 wonderful boys grow up together.
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